It’s Like A Kick In The Gut

Last night I received a phone call from Larry Otten, good friend and middle school principal at Creston. Larry and I worked together for nine years and worked with a lot of the same kids. The phone call last night was not one with good news. Larry told me that they found Travis Henry dead. He had killed himself. Travis was a freshman this year, and while he was not one of “my kids” since I moved to North Fayette this year, I knew him because he attended the same church as we did when we lived in Creston. And, his mother was a teacher for me at the high school. The irony is that earlier in the day, the family of James Kosman held his funeral in Creston.

James graduated last year, but apparently was hanging out with a bunch of high school students when he made a real bad choice and was electrocuted before he dropped 35 feet to the ground. I got to know James pretty well almost exactly a year ago when I went on a trip with him and 41 other students to Washington, D.C. and New York. One of my jobs on that trip was to keep and eye on James and a few other young men because they were a bit ornery. We didn’t have any problems, and I got to know James a lot better than I had in the nearly four previous years of high school. In particular, we had a real good talk on the bus between Washington, D.C. and New York.

It may sound a bit callous, but I am to the point in my life and career that I can say that nothing surprises me any more. But death at such an early age under the circumstances that they two boys died does cause me to pause and wonder “why?” I am not going to provide commentary on the conditions under which each of the deaths occurred, nor ponder as to why they happened. I am going to state how I feel and why.

Before I do that, I also have to add that back in October, David Reeves, took his own life. Compounding the sadness was that only months prior, David’s mother Lynn lost a valiant battle with cancer. Of the three young men, I knew David the best, as did my daughter, who used to play in the saxophone section with him. Like the others, David was a young man with a world of potential and unlimited opportunities in front of him.

The staff and students at Creston are hurting. I don’t think anyone can truly understand the challenges of conducting school each day under such a cloud of grief and sadness. But I know the teachers there work very hard every day to keep school in front of the kids. The problem is that a lot of the emotion is gone because in so many respects, it has literally been sucked out of them.

Now I am four hours away. I have a whole new group of young people that I have responsibility for here at North Fayette. But as I said earlier, nothing really surprises me anymore, thus in a strange sort of way, my worries seem to only have increased. When I heard about David, that painful lump immediately found its way into my throat and I fought back tears. However, they streamed down my face when I shared what I knew with my daughter. Actually, my wife Tammy had to speak the words because I could not. I knew that the pain that had to be felt by his dad, brother, and grandparents, as well as close family friends had to be unbearable. Just a week before they buried David, he had been playing the drum with the Panther Marching Band in a snowstorm in Des Moines. And now he was gone. I still find myself thinking about David and pondering how a young man with so many gifts got to the point where death was a better option than life.

When the emails and texts started coming in about James, my initial response was “Dammit! He pushed it too far!” In recent years James had tested the limits in many respects and I know that his parents and others had concerns about risky behaviors that he was experimenting with. When I heard that there were about a dozen high school students out and about at 2:00 in the morning with James, I thought what the heck is going on! And then, just today, I was told that only three of the group stayed with James after the fall waiting for an emergency vehicle and the rest of the kids ran. Now I asked “why?” What was going on that kids would scatter when their friend was lying on the concrete either dead or dying? Why?

And then it was Travis. Many people in Creston attended the funeral for James only to receive text messages a few hours later that another young man was dead. What worries me, it that that lump in my throat is not quite as painful, nor the pain in my stomach quite as bad. I am afraid because I hope that I am not getting used to this! But, that lump and sick feeling in my stomach does grow when I think of the folks on the front line at Creston High School. The principals and counselors, teachers, secretaries, custodians, cooks, and aides. Those folks are carrying a heavy burden on their shoulders. More than anything else, I really feel for Tammy Riley and Angie Bolinger, the guidance counselors. Those two wonderful counselors are hurting. They are the ones that have to be strong and have to be there for the kids, families, and everyone who comes to them. Their jobs are so complex in this day and age that they are stretched when things are normal. And now, everything else gets put on the back burner because so many people need them. And I am also angry because some people have the audacity to throw criticism their way. The critics don’t have a clue. I’ll leave it at that.

Life is precious. Like is tough. Life is worth living. David, James, and Travis, I wish you were still here to give it another shot.

The Sound of Silence

A couple of months ago I attended the monthly Ministerial Association meeting and as we were discussing some issues early in the meeting, one of the pastors made a comment that really struck me. He stated, “When the sounds of children are absent from worship the church dies.” For some reason, that comment really caused me to think and reflect. I certainly understand the impact of a shortage of young people in church. It is no secret that many congregations are getting older in terms of their members and that younger families, for what every reason, do not attend church, as did previous generations. I also thought it a bit ironic because I have been in church when young children were making a little noise and older folks were visibly agitated because of the noise. I have even seen a couple of elderly people “shush” some little kids and tell a young mom that she needed to “quiet her children.” And then, I thought about school. What about school and the sound of silence?

In a number of classes that I have taken over the years as well as workshops and training focused on school improvement and better instruction, a common theme that is being expressed runs along the lines of “when I walk down the hall I want to hear noise from the classrooms.” Now, that runs counter to some of the “old fashioned” methods of running classrooms where students did not speak unless they raised their hands and were acknowledged by the teacher. But what research tells us is that students learn best by doing, and in many respects they have to talk to one another, collaborate and problem solve as a team rather than in isolation. If the only one talking is the teacher, then we should wonder how much learning is going on. Yet, that is still the case in some instances.

For many, many years, teachers have been viewed as the “sage on the stage,” and were the primary source of information. Perhaps you can remember one that was full of wisdom that shared it with you. I certainly can remember Mr. Cannon and those wonderful stories he told in my history classes, as well as Mr. Kenney who was the first to really point out that there was truly meaning in pieces of literature beyond the words that were in print. Today, that role of teacher has changed. No longer are teachers the purveyor of information that they once were. Our culture has changed so much that we do not need to rely on their wisdom. This is not to lesson their importance. On the contrary, they may even be more important! What has happened is that content information is more readily available than ever before. Students can access information faster than a teacher can tell a story. The “sage on the stage” has had to transform to the “guide on the side,” navigating young minds through the minefields of misinformation and training them to use their minds to develop greater understanding. It is no longer good enough to learn content.

The engaged learning environment is one where noise is the norm. Dialogue takes place between teacher and students, as well as student to student. Teams are created much like the workplace where collaboration is necessary in order for a task to be completed. Of course, this transition has not gone as smoothly or as quickly as it should. There are some that remain resistant to “giving up control” over their classroom. And honestly, as I remember back to my teaching days, I know that I needed a little peace and quiet! However, because of the power of collaboration and the sharing of ideas, as well as the need for students to “do” in order to learn, I need to hear noise when I walk down the hallways. Otherwise, I must question whether or not students are learning.

What We Can Learn From Jerry Seinfeld

On Valentines Day I read an article in the Sunday paper about Jerry Seinfeld and thought, “Wow! This is what I have been saying all along!” Now, I watched a number of episodes of Seinfeld though I would not describe myself as a big fan and certainly am not one of those that remember specific dialogue or episodes. However, I have read a number of things about him and his life since his television show and have found that a number of our values and beliefs are the same. I realize that there are a number of experts out there with qualifications that far exceed Seinfeld in the area of parenting, but I found his “Three Rules of Parenting” about as good of a common sense list that I have read.

Seinfeld refers to his rules as “the poison P’s.” The first is Praise. How often have we heard in recent years that we need to praise on our kids? We need to build their self-esteem! In order to motivate them we need to focus on the positives! Truth be told, I have always been skeptical of this and everything I have been reading in recent years from child and educational psychologists tell us that we have way overdone it. Young people need to develop intrinsic motivation and a sense of doing something for personal satisfaction, to serve others, or because it is the right thing to do. The phenomenon of layering praise on top of praise has had some consequences that are hard to fathom from my perspective. Go to any kids sporting event and in many instances the child receives a medal or trophy for simply showing up! And, take a look at those trophies! Some are taller than the little shaver that carries it off the awards stand! Grade inflation is something that has made its way into school. My goodness, the quality of an “A” paper is not close to the level expected for an “A” paper back in the day. A challenge for our teachers is to restore that level of excellence and raise the quality bar. Simply completing an assignment is not good enough and we should quit pretending that just because something is done does not mean it has been done well! In some respects it seems that kids are immune to praise. They hear so much of it that is carries little meaning to them. We need to offer encouragement and support, but make certain what we praise is truly worth praising.

Problem-solving is the next of the poison P’s. Seinfeld was quoted as saying, “We refuse to let our children have problems. Problem solving is the most important skill to develop for success in life, and we for some reason can’t stand if our kids have a situation that they need to ‘fix.’ Let them struggle – it’s a gift.” To borrow a quote from another individual, Steve Deace from WHO radio in Des Moines, “Students need to experience disappointment. It is part of life. They need to learn to overcome adversity. It is part of life.” How can we possibly believe that we are preparing our children for life’s struggles when we solve all of their problems for them? Whatever happened to requiring a son to go in an confess his missteps over the weekend to the principal rather than a parent doing everything possible to sweep it under the carpet, or taking the position of “it isn’t wrong unless you get caught” and then hope that Junior doesn’t get caught! What is up with that! I believe that in the classroom teachers have become so concerned about moving through content that they do not allow students to struggle and solve problems before they rush in and solve it for them. Kids do not stick with it and give up when something gets tough because they have not developed the skills of persistence and fortitude. Call me mean but both of my kids have sat in tears trying to get something right with their homework, and I have not rushed in and helped because one day I am not going to be there for them. I often wonder what “helicopter parents” are thinking by swooping in and rescuing their child. Let them skin their knee, bump their noggin’, pick themselves up and dust themselves off! That is learning! It is okay to fail! What is important is what one does after the failure. That is perseverance and problem solving.

The third poison P is giving your child too much Pleasure. Seinfeld didn’t elaborate much on this except to share an example of a young mom who bought her daughters huge cookies at 5:00 in the evening rather than saying that dinner was at 6:00. I would say that this is probably the “P” I struggle with the most. Maybe it is that “I want my kids to have what I didn’t mentality.” But, on the flip side, I do not have a problem saying “No!” I believe that we don’t say “No!” enough. Perhaps it is part of this consumer society that we live in where so many parts of our lives are lived in excess that we buy, buy, buy. Or on reflection, our kids are so tuned into video games, texting, and those things that when we hear them say they are bored that we rush to entertain them. I buy into the idea that our kids have far more than they need and that they do not do a very good job of entertaining themselves like we did when we were kids, so the challenge is to figure out how to bring back a sense of value for our kids because that is something that I don’t think they truly understand. By the same token, why are so many 16-year olds quitting sports and music program so that they can work to pay for a car? What’s wrong with riding the bus or walking to school? I bought my first car when I was 23 and finished with college and needed something to move to the town where I acquired my first job. Some may argue, but I think I turned out okay!

I am not saying the Jerry Seinfeld is the end-all, be-all when it comes to parenting. But like many in my generation, we are looking at what is going on around us and for whatever reason, common sense and sanity are starting to kick in. Look at the three P’s and do a little self-assessment as to where you are. You know, teenagers need parents more than they need an adult friend. I have read a tremendous amount of research where teens have said they want structure and expectations in their lives. How about we get it right before it is too late!

Snow Days

When I was a kid there was nothing better than a snow day. In my memory I can recall snow piled as high as the roof of my house and sledding down hills that seemed the size of a small mountain. It was great to wake up to KMA radio and hear Oakland or Council Bluffs schools included on the list of those that were out for the day. We were always early risers, so generally once we heard the announcements, we started planning for the day. There were a few times that a neighbor and I would go door to door in the late morning trying to earn a few bucks shoveling driveways. Mom would usually fix soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, which were a welcome break from school lunch. When the news would come on at six that night, we watched the weather hoping for more snow in the forecast and the potential for another day off.

The worst sound that you could hear after going to bed with the hope of a day off due to a few inches of that wonderful white stuff was the rumbling sound of the snowplow. We all knew that if the plows got out early in the morning, the chances of the longed for day off diminished significantly. The dad of one of my classmates in elementary school drove a plow and I remember that we would often shun him when we had to go to school and there was snow on the ground. Like it was his fault!

Thinking back to those days sledding down the hills on the Oakland golf course or the one on the side of Abraham Lincoln High School in Council Bluffs bring back a lot of memories. However, I no longer have that same warm place in my heart! Now I go to bed when there is snow in the air dreading the phone call that I know will come early in the morning. I also have to share the news with my wife who is sick and tired of kids being in the house all day rather than at school – where they are supposed to be! I am really tired of the color white because that is all I see outside. I am not opposed to going to school in June, in fact, just the opposite. I have maintained for years that I would rather have kids in school in June than in August. So it isn’t the whole “have to go to school in June” thing with me. No, I’m just tired of short weeks and the inability for our staff and students to get in the flow of school. And, did I tell you that I hate the color white!

Can We Do This Together?

At a town hall meeting for high school students on December 15, 2009, U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan asked his audience what they are doing now to take responsibility for their own education. At that same meeting he pointed out that taking Advanced Placement classes, getting involved in extracurricular activities geared toward college majors or areas of interest, and volunteering are definite steps in that direction. The issue of taking responsibility for their own education is a topic people outside of the education field have also started to ponder as well, including Richard Doak from the Des Moines Register, who a little over a year ago basically told folks to back off on pointing fingers at the schools and level them at the conditions of poverty. As an educator, it was nice to read someone from the media who wasn’t blaming us!

In reality, the success that a student has in school is dependent on many factors, but basically, there are three: the student, the family, and the school. There are exceptions, but if all three do not contribute equally, then the chance of academic success is diminished. Or, in some instances, one or two of the factors have to compensate when another is not “pulling its weight.” I have seen some remarkable kids overcome horrible lives at home to become great students that give themselves the opportunity to live a much better life than their parents provided for them. I have also seen tremendous kids challenge themselves to be better when the school does not push them hard enough. But, I have also seen far too many kids that do not push themselves, and have dealt with more parents than I would like who do not hold their child accountable and find it easier to point their fingers at a teacher than at their own child. And, as sad as it may seem, I have dealt with parents who place a very low priority on their children and put up huge obstacles for them.

This working relationship is critical on a number of levels, but one that has me very concerned has to do with what our students today are going to face in their future. I know that part of my job is to educate parents and the community on things that are going on in this world that we are preparing their children for, and to some degree I question whether anyone is listening. Our children in school right now are going to compete with kids all over the world for jobs and yet why are we not making the necessary changes that need to be made to better prepare them for this reality? For instance, students in other countries are going to school 25 to 30 percent longer than we are. In a global economy, we are not playing on a level playing ground! Yet when are legislators and other leaders going to recognize that we have to have longer school years and compensate the teachers accordingly? However, it isn’t only them. I know that in this part of Iowa we still have a strong agricultural economy, but it is not the same as 100 years ago when school calendars were developed to meet the labor demands for farming. We must look at expanding our school year and get beyond the perceptions that have existed for so long that in our new information economy are terribly outdated.

From the perspective of a principal and a teacher, I know that we can continue to improve our instruction and the way we work with young people. It is a huge responsibility and mine to oversee on behalf of the students who attend our school. But I also agree a great deal with Secretary Duncan, an outspoken advocate of rewarding teachers based on student success, but who also has stated that teachers cannot do it alone regardless of the rewards. He made it clear that "students must be serious about their own education.” Honestly, on a daily basis this is what troubles me the most. I see kids every day that do not accept the fact that they must put forth their best effort to improve themselves, to develop their skills and expand their knowledge base. Many are only concerned with a grade or “passing” and do not seem to be interested in learning. We know from sports and the arts that in order to develop a skill it has to be practiced over and over again. The same is true for learning. Instead, many kids cram for a test to get a good grade, but do not internalize the important aspects of what they are supposed to learn. A recent Des Moines Register survey of nearly 13,000 educators showed that 79% of them do not believe that students want to learn. That is a troubling statistic! It is imperative that students listen in class, ask questions, make homework a top priority, put forth their best effort, get enough sleep, and take responsibility for their own learning.

Back to Doak’s position, teachers in Iowa also see the impact that poverty and life at home has on the children that arrive in their classroom each day. The same survey from The Register shows that 67% of Iowa teachers say that children in school are hungry or tired, and 88% stated that situations at home distract kids from learning, including anything from drugs to alcohol abuse by parents, constant moving, or a death in the family. What bothers me so much is that in some of these situations, parents are not making education a priority for their children. From the survey, it was stated, “Rich or poor, parents must instill in their children that it is their responsibility to get a good education.” There was a time in our history that parents living in tough situations wanted better for their children and knew that education opened those possibilities. Many parents must ask themselves what they can do differently to better prepare their children for school. According to The Register survey, “Parents have been let off the hook because we don’t want schools to use problems outside their door as an excuse.”

It seems that right now there is a lot of finger pointing, but the reality is that in order for my children, and other children, to be able to live the life they hope to live, we must figure out a way for everyone to be on the same page. There are times that schools are expected to solve problems that should be handled by parents. In some respect, we have taken the position that since it isn’t getting done at home, then we owe it to the child to take care of it at school. But when I really think about it, we cannot continue to do this. Where will it end? We have to communicate more with parents and in some instances help them so that we can all do a better job preparing children for their future. The idea of “it takes a village” is still very true today. Which brings us back to the question: Can we do this together?

Grab A Book!

I truly value the time that I have when I can read a good book, or catch up on some professional reading, whether it be from journals or other sources. I am particularly a sucker for mystery novels, especially those written by James Lee Burke, Walter Mosley, Andrew Vachss, Robert B. Parker, and yes, Sue Grafton and Janet Evanovich! I also cannot wait for the new works from John Grisham, James Patterson, and David Baldacci. I remember when I was teaching at Galva-Holstein a number of years back that I set a goal of reading 50 books in a year. I felt that I wasn’t taking advantage of all the worlds that I could go to through a book and simply was not taking the time to enjoy reading. I far surpassed that goal that year and set one even higher the next. Today, I do not set goals any more as I make time to read for my personal enjoyment and to advance my knowledge. I only wish that I could do that more!

When I was at Creston, we set aside time every day and “required” students to read. I struggled with the required part of all of that, but the philosophy was that if students had the time to read something they wanted to read, then they would develop a desire to do so on their own time as well. In some cases that held true and I do believe that programs like “Silent Sustained Reading” and “Drop Everything and Read” have value. I do know that some kids completed the first book they had ever read cover to cover. It was a struggle to get others to turn a page, so you can’t make everyone enjoy reading. It does give me concern that people do not take the time to read and I fear the consequences of this because our nation is dependent on a literate society. It is surprising to learn how many adults do not read on a regular basis!

In our busy lives it seems to me that we need to set aside the time to read. It is not uncommon for my family to sit in front of the television set watching American Idol or a movie, yet we could just as easily be together reading. It is actually kind of funny because when I jotted down a few notes for this article, it was because I noticed one evening over winter break that the four of us were sitting in our front room, each of us with a book open and all of us fully engaged in the story in front of us. I am so happy that both my kids have a book in their bags each day, one of them reading on the bus to and from school and the other in the evenings before bedtime. It also causes me to remember back to those nights when they were small, sitting in my lap or their mothers, turning the pages of their favorite book as the story was read to them. I am so happy we set that time aside for them because I have to believe that contributed to their love of reading today.

I don’t have to “schedule” reading time anymore for myself because I do it when I have a chance. And, I am lucky in that my kids read without coercion. For those of you out there who do not take the time, I strongly encourage you to start like I did about twenty years ago by setting goals and blocking out time. Get that library card and use it! I also believe that the best gift you can give to your child is to require that they do the same. You can’t “make” them enjoy it. But, you can ensure that they at least open the book and then turn the pages. Without that, they probably never will!

Is Pink Right?

In a previous article I'm A Wee Bit Confused! I wrote about what is happening on the front line in the field of education regarding science, math, and technology. There is no question that steps have been taken not only at North Fayette, but other high schools throughout the country to “beef up” our programs in those areas. And, there is no question in most educators’ minds that we need to continue to grow. Now with all of that said, I want to add to that perspective, so consider this a follow up to my being confused. But, hold on to you hats because you may be surprised at some of the things you read!

I want to introduce you to Daniel Pink, a former speech writer for Vice President Al Gore, author of the current bestseller Drive, and the book I will reference a few times in this article A Whole New Mind. He also worked as an aide to U.S. Labor Secretary Robert Reich and has held other positions in politics and government. Pink received a BA with honors from Northwestern University and a JD from Yale Law School, though “to his lasting joy, he has never practiced law!”

Promotion material for A Whole New Mind includes: “Lawyers. Accountants. Computer programmers. That’s what our parents encouraged us to become when we grew up. But Mom and Dad were wrong. The future belongs to a very different kind of person with a very different kind of mind. The era of ‘left brain’ dominance, and the Information Age that it engendered, are giving way to a new world in which ‘right brain’ qualities-inventiveness, empathy, meaning-predominate. That’s the argument at the center of this provocative and original book, which uses the two sides of our brains as a metaphor for understanding the contours of our times.”

On CBS Sunday Morning, January 10, 2011, the question was posed, “Will innovation ever be in short supply?” Daniel Pink’s answer was, “No, it is part of what makes us human.” Pink believes that all of us have at least some potential of being creative. He defines creativity as “the ability to give the world something it didn’t know it was missing” and uses the iPod as an example. We have tens of millions of people carrying around iPods today and eight years ago none of them knew that they were missing one! According to Pink, we all have a level of creativity because we are human beings, though not everyone is destined to be the next Einstein, Dylan, or Chihuly.

This country nurtures and encourages creativity and that has been the reason that we have maintained the economic advantages we have had throughout the 20th century and now into the 21st. So why are we trying so hard to emulate the educational programs of other countries, many of them developing nations? Why is so much of a focus being placed on test scores, in some places at the expense of the arts? Why do some of the finest engineering and medical colleges give preference to students with music in their background? What will happen to American ingenuity? All of these are questions that we should be asking!

While our political and business leaders are challenging schools to become more like other countries of the world where students score better on tests than ours, some of those same countries, such as India, China, and Russia are taking a close look at how they may change their schools to look more like ours. Why? Because they know they can produce cheaper and more efficiently than we can, but they do not have the ability to create and invent at the level we do. The United States still leads the world in knowledge capital. Doesn’t it make sense to work to maintain that advantage?

By the way, for the past twenty years the business world has been telling education how it should educate. Do you suppose if the education world had been telling business how to do their jobs our nation would be where we are at right now? Something to consider!