Talent Always Trumps Character . . . Or Does It?

This comment, or one similar, is mentioned quite a bit today, especially when people are talking about professional or collegiate athletics.  Maybe high school to an extent as well.  It is a cynical statement because we as Americans like to believe that the good guy is going to win in the end.  We want to believe that good triumphs over evil and that following the rules pays dividends in the end.  Do the right thing!  Even in our history we focus on individuals who do great things and consider them to be great people — for example, Thomas Jefferson and Martin Luther King, Jr. — yet we have whitewashed or ignored character flaws, which each of those two gentlemen certainly had.  So what’s the message, and is it changing?

They say that love is blind, but it would appear that our pursuit of wealth, wins, and success has also become blind.  Recent polls of high school and college students show that a majority do not believe it is wrong to cheat.  From a University of Nebraska study a few years back, Professor Kenneth Kierwra shared that "Students generally understand what constitutes cheating, but they do it anyway.  They cheat on tests, homework assignments and when writing reports. In some cases, though, students simply don't grasp that some dishonest acts are cheating.”  Students know that cheating is wrong, yet they still do it.  So it would appear that there is great acceptance of this behavior, and when it comes to character, it is a flaw that some are willing to overlook.

What is happening is that when people overlook these flaws, or other character flaws, the results often are not what one would hope.  There is an old saying that people eventually get what they deserve, and those that bend and break rules, or continue to exhibit poor character will “get what’s coming to them.”  Yet in that quest for the gold ring, people continue to look past them.  Professional and college teams seem to consistently make bad decisions on players when the signs are right there.  Aaron Hernandez is a prime example.  Both the University of Florida and the New England Patriots were so enamored of his athletic skills that they were blinded and in the case of the Patriots, paid him millions of dollars to play football.  And we all know what happened with Hernandez, yet there is so much money in professional football that he has just become a footnote to the Patriots history, overshadowed by their recent Super Bowl victory.

It isn’t just the world of sports or business where character seems to have taken a backseat to getting what people want. How many people have stories about the sacrifices that individuals and families have made for a child to go to college.  I recently heard the story of an individual who received little financial aid to attend a small liberal arts college in Iowa and worked 40-hours a week as a restaurant manager in addition to being a full-time student.  There was a time when parents would pick up second jobs to pay college costs, and also to pay off the debt for loans.  Now, we have people encouraging college students to default on their loans rather than pay them back, contributing to a college loan crisis that has created all kinds of concern for future generations of college students.  

Wall Street scandals and corporate corruption exposed in recent years are other examples where making money has trumped good character.  It is interesting that in our country we will throw a young man in prison for five or six years for selling a couple hundred dollars worth of dope, yet white collar criminals in charge of banks and pharmaceutical companies that have stolen millions and even caused deaths seem untouchable and are able to maintain “their good name."

So the question becomes, do we currently live in an America where winning is more important that doing it the right way?  Do we live in a country where getting what you want is more important than being a good person?  Complicating matters is that we have people that are defining right and wrong in a much more black and white manner, and insisting that if others don’t agree with them, then they are definitively wrong.  Politics is awash with this today, and our country has not been as split as it is today since the Civil War in terms of many of our fundamental beliefs.  There is also tremendous hypocrisy as many politicians and “celebrities” have a public forum to discuss what they believe all the “evils” are, yet they aren’t living lives of character themselves, such as recently “exposed” Congressman Kevin McCarthy and television character Josh Duggar.  

Having good character is tough, and in this day and age everyone is watching.  People are not without their flaws, and yet that isn’t to say it is impossible to overcome them.  What we need to realize is that there is a gamble when it comes to working with people who have character flaws.  There is a risk, and people, businesses, and organizations have to measure the reward and benefit from taking a risk.  At times one has to ask whether the reward outweighs the risk today.

Investing In Our Kids

On July 14, 2014, President Obama tweeted "If we make investments early in our children, we will reduce the need to incarcerate those kids."  I immediately re-tweeted, “Truer words have never been spoken.”  I am still very much a novice tweeter, and I have been somewhat selective as to what I re-tweet as it appears some folks just re-tweet about everything they receive.  I re-tweet things I agree with, or that I think are funny or provocative.  This tweet from the POTUS is not original.  We have heard this said by many people many times before, but at this point in time I truly wonder whether or not it is a common belief.  One would think so, but when one looks around at the current state of affairs in this country, I am concerned.

It seems that investing in our children has become a political football.  In order to appease political supporters and special interest groups, elected officials have continued to cut funding to education throughout the country.  In Iowa, education spending does make up a very large part of the budget, yet legislators are getting away with breaking the law by not allocating funds when they are supposed to, and the Governor gives lip-service to supporting education, but is cherry-picking programs that he values.  There are similar — and worse — stories in other states.  As I write this, Congress is supposedly working to reauthorize the federal bill for education . . . eight years after it was to have been reauthorized.  These examples kind of paint a clear picture where children rank as a national priority.  Note: Congress did reauthorize the Elementary and Secondary Schools Act in late 2015, eight years after it was due to be reauthorized.

I question whether the generation of parents raising younger kids today are truly investing in raising those kids so that they can be strong, independent contributors to a society.  Half the kids in this country don’t have two parents with them in the house where they reside, with many having absolutely no relationship with the man responsible for them being here.  There are also kids that have two parents in the house they live in, but one wonders how committed the parents are to raising the kids.  This investment is just as important, if not more so, than financial investment.  You don’t need a lot of money to teach children values and morals, or show them love and affection.  There are myriad of troubling statistics about the breakdown of the traditional American family.  The cost is a couple of generations of young people that many are very concerned about.

One aspect of our society that seems to be investing in our children is business and marketing, and I question how healthy that is.  Advertisers and manufacturers have discovered how profitable a market young people are, and thus we have children and young people who have have become quite materialistic.  This has come with a number of related issues where children have been exploited.

The health of a nation is best measure by how it treats its children.  In my opinion it is time for our nation to have a check-up because what I see is an unhealthy environment for a lot of our kids.  We need to pay attention to what President Obama tweeted and it is time for all of us to invest in our nation’s youth.  Otherwise, we will need to invest in our prison system, which is a very expensive alternative.

Is This Why You Sent Your Child To College?

In many ways what I write about in this article runs contrary to my belief system.  However, I find it quite alarming and perhaps it explains some of the concerns that we have about our students that go on to college.  Let’s get the conflicts I have off the table right away.  First of all, I am going to reference a report from the founder of a company that produces an app that parents can purchase to keep an eye on their college-age student.  I am skeptical about a report produced by someone that has something to profit from because of the report.  I don’t trust the authenticity of reports when self-interest is at hand.  Another issue I have is that I also have a problem with big brother watching.  When kids turn 18 and are legally adults, and then go off to college, they are responsible for their lives.  They need to take responsibility for their actions and accept whatever comes their way.  With those two disclaimers out of the way, I still find this very interesting!

Jeff Whorley, founder of a company called Core Principle, contends that “college students spend more than $31 billion a year in classes they don’t attend.”  I have heard adults reminisce about their college days with a few of them joking about skipping out of classes or figuring out what classes they needed to attend and those they didn’t.  In my four-plus years of college I can count on one hand the number of classes I missed.  I guess that it was always drilled into me that you needed to be there.  I also recall a student in a class who complained openly to the professor that she didn’t think she was getting her money’s worth out of the class because he wasn’t setting high enough expectations or teaching us anything, yet she rarely showed up.

In high school we have attendance requirements that include notifying parents when their child has missed a certain number of days or classes.  We have excused and unexcused absences and, and if unexcused there are consequences.  When absences are excessive, we hold meetings and work out plans for improvement.  At North Fayette Valley we consistently average near 95% average daily attendance, and for the vast majority of students, they are able to sustain their level of performance.  But when it comes to college, there are some significant differences.

Again, according to Whorley, “on average, students report that they don’t attend about 20% of classes throughout their collegiate career.”  If that is an average, it is no wonder that the dropout rate at college is so high.  The national statistics have been relatively consistent the past few years with 40 to 45% of students who start out at four-year colleges or universities not graduating in six years.  What a significant failure rate!  The correlation is very strong between those who do not attend and those who do not graduate, and, they don’t get their money back for all of those credit hours, housing, meals, and other things they have paid for.  A lot of money — $31 billion — is thrown away!

The reality is that this happens in Iowa as well.   Statistics from about five years ago showed that for every 100 9th graders that start out in the fall, 83 graduate from high school four years later.  This number is improving, but it is still needs to be better.  Of those 83, 54 immediately enter college, either in a two- or four-year program.  By the end of their second year of school, only 37 of them are still enrolled.  When it comes to graduates, just 28 will earn either an associate’s degree within three years or a bachelor’s degree within six.  For a state that prides itself on education, the reality is that we aren’t doing a very good job once kids are on their own and attending college.

There are some significant differences between being a high school student and a college student.  The amount of freedom and down-time, a need to prioritize, new social opportunities and a host of other things are challenges that a student faces.  Perhaps the biggest is simply standing on one’s own feet and having the ability to make good decisions, and when obstacles emerge, being able to overcome them.  I see college freshmen come running home right away as soon as the first weekend rolls around, and every weekend after that.  They are already wasting precious dollars, as well as opportunities to grow and establish their independence.  Also, keep in mind that once the student turns 18 and is in college, parents cannot access their records without their child’s permission.  Mom and dad cannot check up on them like they did in high school!

So how do we help students stop throwing away money?  Perhaps a contract with parents is a place to start, at least if mom and dad are footing the bill.  You fail a class, you pay for the class.  Maybe something else that would help is to not allow the student to have a car at college.  It is still not uncommon for parents to drop their kids off at college, thus making it extremely difficult to come home every weekend.  Requiring that they break ties and work through the process of developing independence and responsibility may also help them value what is important.  It would also save on fuel costs, leaving more money for the student to pay back mom and dad should they still choose to skip classes!

Social Media and Your Child’s Mental Health

Social media is one of those things that can be very positive and very negative.  What I can tell you is that a very high percentage of our students spend a lot of time on it.  There are some out there that talk about an addiction to smart phones, and I certainly would agree that some students do not know what to do if they don’t have their’s right with them all of the time.  There is a growing segment of our population that is starting to push back against this technology as it becomes all-engrossing to some individuals to the extent that other aspects of their life and personal growth are significantly impacted.

In our school setting, a very large percentage of the behavior issues, and concerns about the emotional well-being of our students, is directly related to social media.  We have reviewed what would be reams of interaction between students if it were all printed out that has caused problems of one kind or another for our students.  It is for that reason that I have sought out information that might be helpful, and one of the reasons that I posed the question to parents about banning cell phones at the high school (which received an overwhelming “No” in the unscientific poll I conducted at Back-To-School-Night).  The article below is one that I found that puts a lot of perspective on the matter of social media and the impact that it has on our kids.  Perhaps you may want to take a look at the rules and expectations you have for your child’s use.   

http://consumer.healthday.com/kids-health-information-23/adolescents-and-teen-health-news-719/constant-social-media-presence-may-jeopardize-teens-mental-health-703192.html

When Do We Give Youth Sports Back To The Kids?

I would guess that those of you who read this regularly believe that I am spinning a broken record in my “rants” about youth sports.  I don’t bowl, I don’t play cards with the guys on Thursday evenings, I rarely fish and since I don’t own a gun, I don’t hunt.  I don’t tinker on old tractors, don’t snowmobile or play much golf.  I read a lot and I have spent a great deal of my life involved in athletics, and a large amount of that involved at one level or another with youth sports.  If it needs a category in my life, I guess it is my hobby, youth sports that is, not ranting!  Though I am sure there are those of you that think that I do that a lot as well!

I wrote an article a while back about the “dropout rate” among youth athletes in which I pointed out that a very high percentage of kids who play sports when they are young quit playing by the time they reach high school.  80% of the kids playing youth sports in this country right now will not be playing in high school.  In that article I provided information that explained this high “dropout rate” on burnout, injuries, and the stress that comes with meeting the demands of adults.

I believe it is important to take a very close look at the expectations we have for our kids.  Honestly, I think most parents you talk to who have their children playing soccer, softball, football or whatever, state that their number one priority is for their child to have fun.  But I don’t quite buy it.  That’s the response they are supposed to give.  It is the cliché answer.  For many parents, I believe that they are living out their dreams through their kids.  Maybe they didn’t have the level of success they had hoped for when they competed back in the day, or if they competed at all.  Perhaps they are hooked on the fact that sports today offer so many more opportunities than when they were kids that they don’t want to be left out.  I know for some it gives them something to brag on.  “Yep, Blake played eight baseball games in Minneapolis over the weekend.  Went 12 for 20, two home runs and a couple doubles.”  “Craig is 82 and 4 this wrestling season.  He’s headed to state next week and shooting for a state title.”  “Shelly is on a travel team playing middle and is getting looked at by college coaches at these volleyball tournaments on the weekends.”  Parents are establishing their own self-worth, their own self-esteem on the successes of their children!  Even though many parents have an idea of the statistics – 1 in 6000 Iowa boys will make the NFL and 2.5 kids in 10,000 will play in the NBA – they still think that their child will beat the odds!

The reality is that high school participation in Iowa has dropped by 16,000 kids over the past five years.  Schools in our immediate area are having difficulty fielding teams, some dropping sports or looking for another school to share with them.  Just this summer we got a request from a local school wanting to know if we would share girls basketball because they thought they would only have 10 girls at most go out, and the majority of those were 9^th graders.  Last year, only two teams in the Upper Iowa Conference were able to fill a complete wresting lineup.  Our numbers at NFV are fairly solid right now, but will they continue?  Will teenagers still have the desire to play sports in high school after already having played for a number of years?  What can be done to provide solid learning opportunities for kids to learn how to play the games, and yet not make the decision to quit when they get to high school? 

One idea was shared with me a number of years ago by a long-time college baseball coach who had been talked out of retirement to coach a high school team.  Like many successful coaches at the high school level, he recognized the importance of being involved with the youth program to see that there was good coaching and that kids were learning the right way to play the game.  But he also realized that kids needed to just play and have fun like we all did back before video games and over-involved parents.  So he set up a sandlot program too.  The way it worked was actually quite simple.  First off he publicized it with all of the youth teams in town and their parents and every Tuesday morning in the summer he and three or four high school kids brought a few bats and balls to the one of the parks in town and kids showed up to play, just like we did when I was growing up.  Teams were picked and they played, sometimes using modified rules like “pitcher’s hand” or played modified games like “work up.”  There was never a day when kids didn’t show up, and while most also played in organized leagues at night it sure looked like they were have a lot more fun in the sandlot on those mornings.  

The idea above is just one.  I am sure that there are others, but the fundamental thing that I believe needs to happen is that we need to back off a bit on how many games some kids play or matches they wrestle.  Maybe instead of wrestling 80 matches, scaling it back to 40 and taking some time to go and watch older kids wrestle so your son can learn by watching older kids compete will keep a young man wrestling when he is in high school.  Perhaps instead of playing in ten softball tournaments in the summer, five will keep your daughter fresh and leave some weekends open to enjoy family or other pursuits.  In many respects with youth sports, less may in fact be more.

The Marshmallow Test

In late September 2014, I was watching an episode of the Colbert Report and the host’s interview with psychologist Walter Mischel about his book The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self Control.  Apparently “The Marshmallow Test” was first conducted over 50 years ago in the early 1960’s at Stanford University when Mischel and his graduate students were curious about how young children reacted to choice and rewards.  This study has been referenced over the years in many different contexts, including investment companies working with adults to plan for retirement, and even on Sesame Street where our beloved Cookie Monster deals with temptation in order to join the Cookie Connoisseurs Club.  So what is the marshmallow test and what does it tell us?

Quite simply, the test was set up with pre-school children to see how they would respond to a choice between receiving one reward that they could eat immediately and a larger reward that they would have to wait alone for for fifteen minutes.  Could these kids be patient?  Could they delay their gratification?  The study showed that for the most part they could not.  A minority of the children would eat the marshmallow immediately, but only about a third could delay their gratification long enough to reach the fifteen minutes and get the second marshmallow.

We know that students are impulsive and we hear a lot about this generation that demands instant gratification.  They are said to lack patience and want things now.  But in reality, this is nothing new.  Mischel determined this 50 years ago and the study has been replicated numerous times with different rewards and a variety of modifications.  Mischel has stated that there are some obvious factors that influence the choice kids make, such as respect for authority and the ability to trust.  Age is also a factor in the ability of a child to delay gratification.  What is interesting is some of the correlations that have been drawn from the original and follow up studies.

From an educational perspective, one of the most interesting came about in the late 1980’s and 1990.  Those students who as pre-schoolers were able to delay gratification became teenagers and were described by their parents are more competent, and then those same kids who delayed gratification had higher SAT scores than those who were not able to delay.    So, those who exercised patience and the ability to put off gratification scored higher on the SAT test.  And, brain research done in the past ten years shows differences in the prefrontal cortex and ventral striatum between those with low delay times and those with high delay times.  

 

It does appear that as the old saying goes, patience is a virtue.  Yet it would appear that in this fast food, video game culture we live in, instant rewards and gratification surround our kids.  However, it isn’t something new and the way to deal with it is pretty much the same as it has always been.  Presenting children with “if/then” scenarios and helping them weigh the benefits of waiting is perhaps the most successful.  Good things do come to those who wait, as is evident from the SAT scores, and we need to stress the idea of greater reward.  Even those people who we sometimes categorize as “overnight successes” have generally put in years of work to get where they are today.  Reaping the reward does not happen in the short term very often, and teaching that to our kids is something that will save a considerable amount of negative emotion through the years. 

If you would like to learn more about Walter Mischel and the implications of his research, enjoy this video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b3SWsjWzdA

What About Kids That Don’t Have a Home?

We are fortunate in our school districts that we don’t have to spend a great deal of time on matters related to homeless youth.  In fact, some would be surprised to know that we actually have had homeless students in the six-plus years that I have worked in this district.  They are not visible to the public because they do not fit the stereotype of the vagrant living off the street in urban parts of the country.  But they are here from time to time, living in a car with their mom or bouncing from couch to couch in friend’s houses.  Or, they might be taking refuge for a while in someone’s home because they were left behind by the only parent in their life.  Overall, we are fortunate that in our community that we know one another and there are a number of people that care, and for the most part the struggles that come with being homeless rarely impede on a child’s life.

However, it is troubling that in the richest country in the world we have children that do not have a home.  A report entitle America’s Youngest Outcasts from the National Center on Family Homelessness estimated that 2.5 million kids in America were homeless at some point during the 2013 calendar year.  That is incredible!  How can a country with so much, a country with excess, not provide for its most vulnerable?  We can argue that it is a parent issue, or we can say we don’t want a country based on socialism, or put forth any number of other arguments.  But regardless, there is no better measure of a society than how it treats its children.  And on that, we get an F.

It would also appear that at the same time we are seeing more homeless kids in our country, the federal government is making progress in reducing the number of homeless veterans and chronically homeless adults.  There have been some very strong advocates for those groups, and rightly so.  But it does not appear that the same can be said for the plight of homeless families and children.

Nationally, child homelessness increased by 8% from 2012 to 2013.  In the North Fayette district this year, 52% of our elementary student population is on free or reduced lunch, the common measure for students living in poverty.  This certainly positions many youngsters in dire circumstances and just one step away from having a home.  This can have a devastating effect on the child’s educational development, not to mention their emotional and social development.  The stress it causes on parents also has a significant effect on the kids.  And again, how can this be in a country that has so much wealth?

The standard of living in rural Iowa is not too high, which is one of the reasons that the problem in the heartland is not to the extent that it is in California and in the south.  But it is a challenge because it is a big change to the status quo.  The strength of our nation has been the middle class with a value system that included a strong belief in upward mobility through education and hard work.  That is not the same today.  Generational poverty is more prevalent and is accompanied by a lack of hope.  The mindset of children coming from a life of poverty is much different, and one that we are going to have to deal with more and more if the current trend continues.  This nation does not have an education problem.  It has a poverty problem.  Let’s challenge our elected officials to place a focus on fixing that.