When I
arrived at North Fayette I learned about a commitment the district had made to
Love and Logic, sending all of the teaching staff through training and
implementing the practices in the classroom and buildings. I had heard about this program, and because
of the commitment of the district, decided to attend training in Chicago to be
better prepared to use the various strategies when working with students. At that time I also signed up for their
e-newsletter, which I receive every other week.
In a recent newsletter, the following letter from an employer and Love
and Logic devotee was included:
Dear Mr. Fay,
I have been to many Love and Logic trainings and have been passing along
the lessons for some time. I just wanted to share with you a personal story of
something that happened today which just proves what you have been teaching all
this time. I thought of you instantly. I will keep all details out to protect
the business and the person involved.
At a current place of business, which is a corporate/professional
level, highly skilled type business, a young (meaning twenty-something)
gentleman showed up for an interview today with his parents. Yes, they really
did sit in on the interview. No, he did not really need them there.
Apparently, they were to help with his nervousness and morale, and
they wanted to help him with the discussion regarding salary.
Now here is the very definition of helicopter parents that do not
have a grasp of boundaries and have enabled their "baby."
Needless to say, this particular candidate was not the one chosen.
Hope this story may help you during some presentation to get the
point across that we are crippling our youth.
Sincerely,
Marlene, a loyal Love and Logic advocate
Those of you who read my blog and newsletter regularly will recognize
the term “helicopter parent,” as I have written about this “phenomenon” a
number of times over the past few years.
It seems like today we have one of two extremes. Unfortunately we have too many parents that
have basically tossed their children aside and have little or no interest in
what they do. They could care less about
their performance at school and they never show up for conferences or
events. This is tough to deal with, but
there is one positive in many of these situations: the child is resilient and
learns to stand on their own feet. At
the other end are the parents that are described in the letter above. Can you imagine accompanying your child to a job
interview? Who would ever think about
doing this? Well, obviously
someone! Don’t get me wrong, there are
times when a parent needs to stand by their child and offer support. I have been impressed recently with some
parents that have stood by their child’s side as the young men came forward to
confront a difficult situation. They
still put the burden on the child to “come clean” and take responsibility for
their actions.
There is a balance, and we need to get back to the balance. What made the men and women who made up the “Greatest
Generation” great was that even at a young age they stood up and answered the
bell. Think about it. In the early 1940’s, 18-year old boys stepped
up, volunteering in waves, to serve our country. They found themselves in horrific
circumstances and prevailed. I do not
see that in our young people today, and I am not saying that we have to send
them off to war to prove it. What I am
saying is that we need to give them the chance to take responsibility for their
decisions. Steve Deace, a conservative
talk show host, said the following on air one day when I caught part of his
show driving down the interstate: “Students need to experience disappointment. It is part of life. They need to learn to overcome
adversity. It is part of life.” Unfortunately, helicopter parents are not
allowing them to experience these very important life lessons.
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