How Did It Get to Be 'OK' for People to Be Late for Everything?

Disclaimer 1: There are times that I am late and there are times that I provide useless excuses for being late.  Disclaimer 2: I was taught that being on time meant at least five minutes early and I never remember a time growing up when we were ever late. 

At a three-day conference that many of us from NFVHS attended in Minneapolis in June, the main presenter stated up front, among other things, that all sessions would start on time – and they did, at least the ones I attended.  I make a point at meetings that I lead to let people know that we will start on time, and the vast majority of the time, we do.  Being on time, being prompt is typically a sign of discipline and respect for others.  Yet it seems that it is not as important as it once was.  And sadly, there have been times that I have fallen into this as well, thinking “it will be okay if I am a few minutes late.”  Where did this come from?  Why do people think that it is okay to keep other folks waiting? 

One of the interesting dynamics that takes place in our household is that my spouse does not share the same opinion about being on time.  She chooses to distinguish between those instances when it is important to be on time and those when it is not.  The problem that exists in our life is that we define “important” differently.  From my perspective, any time a time is set, it is important.  If it is important enough to set a time, then I believe it is important to be on time.  And, by “on time” that means that you are in place when the event starts, whatever it may be. 

Let me share an example that has caused quite a bit of disagreement in our family.  I have coached softball for the past 10 years in one capacity or another.  As a coach, I expect my players to be on time.  My instruction to them has been standard: “Be there an hour ahead of game time, shoes on ready to go.”  That means that as coach, I need to be there more than an hour ahead of time.  I see that as a hard an fast, line in the sand yet I get disagreement in my household because “it’s just warm up and the game is an hour away.”  So, why are there two such different perspectives or philosophies?  To me, it is a matter of responsibility, priority, and discipline.  Being prompt, being on time is respectful to the other people involved.  When you are late, the message I believe that sends is that “your time isn’t as important as mine.”  In the above example, both warm up and the game are important, and it is imperative to be one time.

There are cultural aspects to the issue of being on time.  A teacher at our school shared stories from numerous trips she has chaperoned with students to Costa Rica over the years and talked about “Tico time.”  Costa Ricans refer to themselves as Ticos and the reference to Tico time comes from time conscious Americans who upon visiting Costa Rica find out that there is a much more relaxed attitude to time.  There is not nearly as much importance placed on being prompt or “on time.”  Perhaps they have it right as my experience when I visited is that there really was not a lot of stress while we were there! 

As I mentioned in the disclaimer up front, I have slipped over the years.  I have tried to become more tolerant of those who do not have the same belief that I do, but at the same time, I will continue to start meetings at 7:15 because that is when I said I would start a meeting, and I will be respectful of the people that got up early to be there on time!