What's Harming Our Students

I have acquired quite a collection of articles so far this summer that I have been reading through, and doing quite a bit of writing for this blog, so I have quite a bit that I intend to share.  However, for the second post this July, I am going to go back to Tim Elmore.  As I have stated before, I strongly encourage you to bookmark his blog and sign up for his updates.  I have learned a lot from him not only in my role as a school leader, but also a parent.  He confirms a number of my fundamental beliefs about how to raise children, and the role of school and parents in developing young adults.  I believe that this article provides some very solid information and shows that it is okay for a parent to let their child stumble and fall while they are still young and living under your roof.  Otherwise, they may never get out from under that roof!

Risk and Rescue: What's Harming Our Students Today

I Love To Watch You Play

There is a bit of irony here.  Over the course of about ten days, I read two different blogs and both of them focused on these six words: I love to watch you play.  There were some common themes in the articles, and as I read both of them, a number of thoughts ran through me brain.  Perhaps the one that sticks with me comes from the writer of one of the articles I read.  He stated, “The best thing a parent can say to their child is ‘I love to watch you play.’”  That can be extrapolated to ‘I love to listen to your sing’ or ‘I love to watch you perform.’  The key is that on that drive home, or once you are sitting in the living room after the performance, that’s all you need to say.  You don’t need to critique.  You don’t need to give advice.  You don’t need to replay the event.  The best thing that a parent can say is, “I love to watch you play!”

Boy have I blown this so many times!  Coach Wolverton comes through after every game my kids have played, or Director Wolverton surfaces after every music or speech performance.  Even when I did not have a clue what the criteria or scoring system was, I did not hesitate to add my thoughts and perspective!  I was especially “tuned in” at the conclusion of a sport that I knew a lot about, particularly after a loss.  It was only after the fact that I would realize that the last thing my son wanted to hear was my take on the game when he was already frustrated with the way that it ended.  Pointing out that she was opening her shoulder with every swing, thus the reason for her popping up was something my daughter already knew.  And, more often than not, shortly after we started down the road and I shared what I thought, anger may surface, tears might be shed, and the next few hours would pass in silence.  Not the kind of ride anyone looks forward to!  Certainly not when everyone is tired on a Sunday with an ETA at home after midnight!

Coach Wolverton has learned a lot, most important is that after the event, he needs to be Dad Wolverton.  He’s the one that needs to let his son work through his own emotions after a loss, and the one that needs to let his daughter ask if he will work with her to keep the shoulder closed.  Dad Wolverton is getting much better at letting his two favorite players/performers know how much he loves to watch them play.  And those drives home are a lot more enjoyable!

Should High School Baseball and Softball Be Played In The Spring?

An article in the Des Moines Register last summer focused on a topic that has been debated quite a bit recently: whether high school baseball and softball in Iowa should be played in the spring rather than the summer.  That discussion has not reached many rural parts of the state, other than perhaps the coaches of those two sports, but it is a topic that has generated a lot of conversations in the cities and surrounding areas, as well as in the media.  Before I go any further, it needs to be said that Rick Wulkow, Executive Director of the Iowa High School Athletic Association, has publically stated that moving baseball to the spring is not under consideration at all at this time as the most recent surveys of member schools are strongly opposed to that change.

From my perspective, it is an interesting debate as I am a huge fan of both sports, have kids that play, and yet am on the school side of the equation as well.  When I read this article and others, and listen to those who advocate moving to the spring, the only ones I have heard talk about it favorably are from metropolitan areas.  That is not to say that there aren’t folks from small schools that support this, but it really does come down to a big school-small school debate.  On the surface, there is no way that smaller schools could support softball and baseball in the spring and maintain the traditional spring sports, track and golf.  Soccer and tennis are in place in some schools at the same time of the year.  Adding baseball and softball would certainly deplete the pool of available athletes.  At North Fayette Valley, it would create some very difficult decisions because there has been track and golf success, as well as strong baseball and softball teams.  If students had to make a choice, what direction would they go?  Regardless, something would be weakened.  That would not necessarily be the case in big schools as there are more student-athletes and specialization already in place. 

In Iowa the strongest negative for spring ball is the weather.  Having two nephews that play in the spring in Nebraska, half of their twenty-some scheduled games were cancelled this year due to weather.  Most coaches are opposed due to a narrower period to schedule games, which would result in a much shorter schedule.  Those that are the strongest advocates point out that Iowa kids are at a definite disadvantage in terms of college opportunities and for baseball, the ability to play in front of professional scouts, because they have wrapped up their efforts by the time summer games get going.  Unless Iowa players are on travel teams in the spring or fall, they do not get exposure in front of these coaches.  And this is where the heart of the argument lies.  Does it make sense to shift seasons so that a small percentage of student-athletes have better opportunities to catch the eye of coaches and earn college scholarships?  Of course, parents of those kids would say yes, as well as coaches at schools that have the opportunity to work with kids that are more specialized in their sports. 

There are positives for this move for schools like NFV, one of which is cost.  Because we wouldn’t play as many games, our costs would drop almost in half.  We wouldn’t have to employ coaches and some administration in the summer.  Students would actually have more of their summer off, and those that really love baseball or softball could hook up with legion or club teams.  But is that what people want?  A few weeks ago my dad, a hardcore baseball and softball fan that has watched high school games for decades made the comment to me out of the blue that “Iowa should never get rid of summer ball.”  He has five grandkids that play high school baseball in the spring, legion, high school baseball, high school softball, and ASA softball in the summer, and, high school and club softball in the fall, and he believes it would be the worst thing that could happen to the games in Iowa to move it away from the summer.  Personally, I have mixed feelings, but my opinion right now is that perhaps it is the time to offer those kids that really want to play in college other opportunities to play, and if they choose to play for someone other than their high school team, that’s their prerogative.  That way that majority of folks could keep doing what they want to do.

Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students, Part II

In the previous blog, I shared the first part of this article from Tim Elmore.  In Part II, Elmore articulates steps that we should take to build perseverance in our kids.  

Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students, Part II

Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students -- Part I

Once again I am going to provide you with an opportunity to read from Tim Elmore and his Growing Leaders blog.  I have written recently about perseverance and grit and how the students that we are working with today lack those traits.  It isn't just our students.  It is something very common among this millennial generation.  I am convinced that it is something that we need to address, but as you read in Elmore's blog, this is not something that schools can do alone.  We have created a dependent generation of young people.  We need to do something about that.

Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students - Part I

Is It a Bad Thing That Kids Are Really Busy?

There have been a number of movies that show moms in a minivan or SUV picking kids up from school and running them to this lesson and that practice, only to pick them up and rush them off to some other scheduled activity.  Usually those movies focus on the hectic lives of families living in suburbia who want to make certain that they have their children involved in every opportunity possible.  One doesn’t have to live in the suburbs to see this kind of behavior as folks out in the rural areas have schedules and calendars just as full. 

In a previous article I mentioned that I was just as busy in the summer when I was a teenager as the busiest ones today.  My friends were too, and in fact some of them had more going on than I did.  However, I think that there are some differences now.  First of all, the Just Do It generation, a mentality of excess, and “you can have it all” started back in the late 1980’s and 90’s has an impact on our society today, especially among parents of this generation of students, and thus the students themselves.  It is incredible when I look at some of our busiest students and marvel at how they are able to participate in athletics each season, be part of one or both music programs, participate in speech, maybe FFA as well, and then do a very good job in the classroom.  This certainly supports the theory expressed by many that the busy student is the good student!  What I believe is most important is that these kids learn to be very good time managers, and do a heck of a job prioritizing.  Some of them do not handle distraction or interruption too well because they know what they have to get done and this makes it more difficult.  However, I believe learning these skills pay off in the long run because for most, life is busy!

Are there drawbacks to those who want to “have it all”?  I think there are, though before I get into those, I want to state that I believe that high school is the right time to experience this because there are safety nets in place.  It is the same as my profound belief that high school is the best time for students to be allowed to fail and figure out how to pick themselves back up.  It certainly makes more sense while they have a support system in place.  That said, what are the drawbacks?  The first is that I believe it prevents excellence.  It falls in line with that old saying “jack of all trades, master of none.”  To me, it only makes sense that many of our students have spread themselves too thin, and while they may be good at a lot of things, they are not great.  So what’s wrong with that?  Perhaps nothing.  But maybe with more concentrated effort on fewer things, different doors may open for them as they move forward in life.

And while some people may scoff at this next negative, I believe it has merit as I see it in my own household.  Burning the candle at both ends is not healthy.  There is definitive proof that teenagers need to have eight hours of sleep per night to function to their maximum potential.  Very few if any of these ultra-busy students get any where close to that amount of sleep per night, which I would guess isn’t much different than most high school students.  But that said, imagine how much better they could do in their classes or other pursuits if they were as healthy as they could be.  Think sleep is over-rated?  Check out the training regime of Olympic caliber athletes and you will see that sleep is right up their in importance to nutrition.

I don’t think these uber-busy students deal well with stress either.  I mentioned earlier that they tend to be very regimented in order to get everything done that they need to do.  When things do not go well, or when a wrinkle is thrown their way, some of these kids melt down, but because they are so driven, they persevere and fight through it.  While the fight is admirable, we all know that stress has long-term implications.  We also know that that the way some people choose to deal with stress is not healthy at all.  Truth be told, I have seen some of these kids really struggle when they get away from home and do not have the support system of family and school, some falling into self-destructive behaviors, and some really having difficulty dealing with the new found responsibility of independence and freedom from the very managed life they led in high school. 

From my perspective, it comes down to balance.  While some want to have it all, I think that comes with drawbacks, but at the same time, I certainly see tremendous benefits to being involved and keeping busy.  Certainly we have a percentage of students that we would love to see with a stronger connection to school, working harder on their academic pursuits and engaged in our activity program.  It would be a lot better than the choices they are making at this stage of their life.  We have a very high percentage of students involved in our activity programs, and certainly I would love to see some more involved.  But at the same time, I am concerned about the ones who stretch themselves so thin.  Colleges are not telling us that they want to see kids involved, but not stretched so thin that they do not perform as well as they could.  Balance.

A Secret for Moving Students From Childhood to Adulthood

I have shared other articles from Tim Elmore in the past and I hope that you have found them useful and insightful.  I look forward each week to receiving his blogs through his newsletter, and encourage you to subscribe as well.  While his primary focus is on creating young leaders, a number of his articles include information that is helpful to parents.  The one that I include in this blog falls in line with some of the articles I have written about resilience and what is commonly called grit.  We see quite a bit of this problem in our school, and I have seen it manifest itself in other places, such as select athletic and travel teams.  I believe that you will find this article important as you continue to raise your child or children toward that day when they will be on their own.

One Secret for Moving Students From Childhood to Adulthood