Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students -- Part I

Once again I am going to provide you with an opportunity to read from Tim Elmore and his Growing Leaders blog.  I have written recently about perseverance and grit and how the students that we are working with today lack those traits.  It isn't just our students.  It is something very common among this millennial generation.  I am convinced that it is something that we need to address, but as you read in Elmore's blog, this is not something that schools can do alone.  We have created a dependent generation of young people.  We need to do something about that.

Seven Ideas to Build Perseverance in Students - Part I

Is It a Bad Thing That Kids Are Really Busy?

There have been a number of movies that show moms in a minivan or SUV picking kids up from school and running them to this lesson and that practice, only to pick them up and rush them off to some other scheduled activity.  Usually those movies focus on the hectic lives of families living in suburbia who want to make certain that they have their children involved in every opportunity possible.  One doesn’t have to live in the suburbs to see this kind of behavior as folks out in the rural areas have schedules and calendars just as full. 

In a previous article I mentioned that I was just as busy in the summer when I was a teenager as the busiest ones today.  My friends were too, and in fact some of them had more going on than I did.  However, I think that there are some differences now.  First of all, the Just Do It generation, a mentality of excess, and “you can have it all” started back in the late 1980’s and 90’s has an impact on our society today, especially among parents of this generation of students, and thus the students themselves.  It is incredible when I look at some of our busiest students and marvel at how they are able to participate in athletics each season, be part of one or both music programs, participate in speech, maybe FFA as well, and then do a very good job in the classroom.  This certainly supports the theory expressed by many that the busy student is the good student!  What I believe is most important is that these kids learn to be very good time managers, and do a heck of a job prioritizing.  Some of them do not handle distraction or interruption too well because they know what they have to get done and this makes it more difficult.  However, I believe learning these skills pay off in the long run because for most, life is busy!

Are there drawbacks to those who want to “have it all”?  I think there are, though before I get into those, I want to state that I believe that high school is the right time to experience this because there are safety nets in place.  It is the same as my profound belief that high school is the best time for students to be allowed to fail and figure out how to pick themselves back up.  It certainly makes more sense while they have a support system in place.  That said, what are the drawbacks?  The first is that I believe it prevents excellence.  It falls in line with that old saying “jack of all trades, master of none.”  To me, it only makes sense that many of our students have spread themselves too thin, and while they may be good at a lot of things, they are not great.  So what’s wrong with that?  Perhaps nothing.  But maybe with more concentrated effort on fewer things, different doors may open for them as they move forward in life.

And while some people may scoff at this next negative, I believe it has merit as I see it in my own household.  Burning the candle at both ends is not healthy.  There is definitive proof that teenagers need to have eight hours of sleep per night to function to their maximum potential.  Very few if any of these ultra-busy students get any where close to that amount of sleep per night, which I would guess isn’t much different than most high school students.  But that said, imagine how much better they could do in their classes or other pursuits if they were as healthy as they could be.  Think sleep is over-rated?  Check out the training regime of Olympic caliber athletes and you will see that sleep is right up their in importance to nutrition.

I don’t think these uber-busy students deal well with stress either.  I mentioned earlier that they tend to be very regimented in order to get everything done that they need to do.  When things do not go well, or when a wrinkle is thrown their way, some of these kids melt down, but because they are so driven, they persevere and fight through it.  While the fight is admirable, we all know that stress has long-term implications.  We also know that that the way some people choose to deal with stress is not healthy at all.  Truth be told, I have seen some of these kids really struggle when they get away from home and do not have the support system of family and school, some falling into self-destructive behaviors, and some really having difficulty dealing with the new found responsibility of independence and freedom from the very managed life they led in high school. 

From my perspective, it comes down to balance.  While some want to have it all, I think that comes with drawbacks, but at the same time, I certainly see tremendous benefits to being involved and keeping busy.  Certainly we have a percentage of students that we would love to see with a stronger connection to school, working harder on their academic pursuits and engaged in our activity program.  It would be a lot better than the choices they are making at this stage of their life.  We have a very high percentage of students involved in our activity programs, and certainly I would love to see some more involved.  But at the same time, I am concerned about the ones who stretch themselves so thin.  Colleges are not telling us that they want to see kids involved, but not stretched so thin that they do not perform as well as they could.  Balance.

A Secret for Moving Students From Childhood to Adulthood

I have shared other articles from Tim Elmore in the past and I hope that you have found them useful and insightful.  I look forward each week to receiving his blogs through his newsletter, and encourage you to subscribe as well.  While his primary focus is on creating young leaders, a number of his articles include information that is helpful to parents.  The one that I include in this blog falls in line with some of the articles I have written about resilience and what is commonly called grit.  We see quite a bit of this problem in our school, and I have seen it manifest itself in other places, such as select athletic and travel teams.  I believe that you will find this article important as you continue to raise your child or children toward that day when they will be on their own.

One Secret for Moving Students From Childhood to Adulthood

Is It a Bad Thing That Kids Are Really Busy?

There have been a number of movies that show moms in a minivan or SUV picking kids up from school and running them to this lesson and that practice, only to pick them up and rush them off to some other scheduled activity.  Usually those movies focus on the hectic lives of families living in suburbia who want to make certain that they have their children involved in every opportunity possible.  One doesn’t have to live in the suburbs to see this kind of behavior as folks out in the rural areas have schedules and calendars just as full. 

In a previous article I mentioned that I was just as busy in the summer when I was a teenager as the busiest ones today.  My friends were too, and in fact some of them had more going on than I did.  However, I think that there are some differences now.  First of all, the Just Do It generation, a mentality of excess, and “you can have it all” started back in the late 1980’s and 90’s has an impact on our society today, especially among parents of this generation of students, and thus the students themselves.  It is incredible when I look at some of our busiest students and marvel at how they are able to participate in athletics each season, be part of one or both music programs, participate in speech, maybe FFA as well, and then do a very good job in the classroom.  This certainly supports the theory expressed by many that the busy student is the good student!  What I believe is most important is that these kids learn to be very good time managers, and do a heck of a job prioritizing.  Some of them do not handle distraction or interruption too well because they know what they have to get done and this makes it more difficult.  However, I believe learning these skills pay off in the long run because for most, life is busy!

Are there drawbacks to those who want to “have it all”?  I think there are, though before I get into those, I want to state that I believe that high school is the right time to experience this because there are safety nets in place.  It is the same as my profound belief that high school is the best time for students to be allowed to fail and figure out how to pick themselves back up.  It certainly makes more sense while they have a support system in place.  That said, what are the drawbacks?  The first is that I believe it prevents excellence.  It falls in line with that old saying “jack of all trades, master of none.”  To me, it only makes sense that many of our students have spread themselves too thin, and while they may be good at a lot of things, they are not great.  So what’s wrong with that?  Perhaps nothing.  But maybe with more concentrated effort on fewer things, different doors may open for them as they move forward in life.

And while some people may scoff at this next negative, I believe it has merit as I see it in my own household.  Burning the candle at both ends is not healthy.  There is definitive proof that teenagers need to have eight hours of sleep per night to function to their maximum potential.  Very few if any of these ultra-busy students get any where close to that amount of sleep per night, which I would guess isn’t much different than most high school students.  But that said, imagine how much better they could do in their classes or other pursuits if they were as healthy as they could be.  Think sleep is over-rated?  Check out the training regime of Olympic caliber athletes and you will see that sleep is right up their in importance to nutrition.

I don’t think these uber-busy students deal well with stress either.  I mentioned earlier that they tend to be very regimented in order to get everything done that they need to do.  When things do not go well, or when a wrinkle is thrown their way, some of these kids melt down, but because they are so driven, they persevere and fight through it.  While the fight is admirable, we all know that stress has long-term implications.  We also know that that the way some people choose to deal with stress is not healthy at all.  Truth be told, I have seen some of these kids really struggle when they get away from home and do not have the support system of family and school, some falling into self-destructive behaviors, and some really having difficulty dealing with the new found responsibility of independence and freedom from the very managed life they led in high school. 

From my perspective, it comes down to balance.  While some want to have it all, I think that comes with drawbacks, but at the same time, I certainly see tremendous benefits to being involved and keeping busy.  Certainly we have a percentage of students that we would love to see with a stronger connection to school, working harder on their academic pursuits and engaged in our activity program.  It would be a lot better than the choices they are making at this stage of their life.  We have a very high percentage of students involved in our activity programs, and certainly I would love to see some more involved.  But at the same time, I am concerned about the ones who stretch themselves so thin.  Colleges are not telling us that they want to see kids involved, but not stretched so thin that they do not perform as well as they could.  Balance.

5 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew

I value the opportunities I have on the weekends when I have a little time to myself and can work through a number of things that I have been waiting to read.  One of the teachers at NFVHS shared the link below with me and after reading it I thought I would share it with you.  We just came off parent-teacher conferences a couple of weeks ago, and I thought that this is fitting.  This writer from the New York Times shares some things that teacher often want to say, but find very difficult when they meet face-to-face with a parent.  We should not have this barrier, but sometimes it is easier to let someone else articulate some true feelings.  So, please read the article and if you are so inclined, let me know what you think!

5 Things Teachers Wish Parents Knew: Your Children Can Do More Than You Think

Why Do We Still Want Our Kids to Go to a 4-Year College?

A little over a year ago I attended the STEM Connections Conference in Des Moines and listened to some very interesting speakers, including business leaders from John Deere, HON, and National Instrument.  STEM is one of those education acronyms standing for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math.  So, how does the fact that I went to a conference on those four topics relate to the title of the article which would lead one to believe I am questioning why kids should go on to a traditional four-year college?  Aren’t science, technology, engineering, and math subjects for those really smart, high achieving students?  Yes, but they are also topics that are very important for the highly skilled workforce that our country so desperately needs.

Since that conference, I have become more convinced that a very strong, viable option for all of our students, especially those who are strong in math and science, is to attend a community college or trade school, or enter into the workforce and apprentice in a skilled trade.  This is a hard adjustment in perception and belief for many people to make.  I continue to struggle with this quite a bit, particularly when it comes to my own children.  I have had conversations with staff members at school who have the same difficulty.  For a couple of generations going to a four-year college or university was the pathway for future success.  Parents and grandparents, particularly in the Midwest, could take a great deal of satisfaction if their child or grandchild went off to Iowa State or Luther, because in many instances, that would be the first family member to take that step.  In conversations with our guidance counselor, we have both struggled with how we say to parents that they should not want their child to go to a four-year institution.  That is so different from the message and position we have taken for years!

However, from my perspective, there are two fundamental reasons that this makes sense.  First, when one looks at the future of the job market, there will be a huge demand for highly skilled workers, particularly in the manufacturing industry.  In fact, the demand for occupations requiring a two-year degree is very high right now.  Couple that with what is currently happening with graduates of four-year programs and one needs to really keep their eyes open to future choices.  According to MyNorthwest.com, about 41% of 2011 and 2012 college graduates  are “stuck in jobs that don’t require their degrees, and nearly two-thirds say that they will need more training in order to get their desired job.”  In addition to these underemployed individuals, 18% of graduates from the same two years were either unemployed at the time of the survey or had not had a job since graduating.  A 2010 Federal Reserve Bank study showed that only “62.1% of U.S. college graduates had a job that even required a college degree, and just 27.3 percent of college grads had a degree that was related to their major.”

The second reason that this makes sense is because of the amount of debt that college students are accruing.  In this country college debt has exceeded $1 trillion, and with college graduates struggling to find jobs for which they were trained, it only multiplies the problem.  In 2011, six million graduates are still living at home with their parents.  According to The Project On Student Debt, 7 of 10 college seniors who graduated in 2012 had a student loan debt with an average of $29,400 per borrower.  In Iowa, the average debt of 4-year college graduates in 2012 was $29,456, which ranks the state 6^th among public colleges and 3^rd for private institutions.  According to a recent article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the graduating class of 2012 is in a deeper hole with student loan debt than any class before.

From the time of that conference in Des Moines, we have made adjustments at NFVHS, including the addition of the Project Lead The Way program, Virtual Reality Educational Pathways classes, adjustments in our science and math courses, training of teachers for the Introduction to Engineering Design, the formation of partnerships with members of business and industry, and numerous other changes.  It is our goal to provide direct instruction and support to students so that they have the preparation to choose to either go into training for a highly skilled occupation or go to a four-year institution.  We are also working to develop a system to place focus on employability skills, often called soft skills and non-cognitive skills, so that our students have some foundation as they move forward in life.

The world of work is changing, but we are slow to change our attitudes, particularly in rural areas.  With two kids of my own in high school, and one trying to make college decisions right now, this is a very difficult time to be making life-changing choices.  As a school administrator who has spent the vast majority of his life pushing kids to go to college, as well as one who grew up with the belief that a four-year college degree was the key to success, I find myself conflicted as I don’t want to ever “sell a kid short.”  But at the same time, I have seen families struggle with debt as well as college graduates forced to take any job they can to earn a paycheck.  It is time to keep eyes open.

Seven Crippling Parental Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders

I have reference Tim Elmore in previous posts, and I have shared my thoughts about both parenting and the development of resiliency or grit among young people.  This is a topic that I continue to dig into as in my opinion there may be no issue more important from an educational perspective.  As parents, many of us are suffocating and debilitating our kids through good intentions and what I believe is a warped perspective.  We want what is best for our children, but in my opinion, we drank from the wrong glass of Kool-Aide.  The whole self-esteem movement has ended up crippling a generation of young people who lack the ability to fend for themselves, pick themselves up when they fall down, and tackle problems that they cannot resolve in short order.  Kathy Caprino, a contributor to Forbes, shares her perspective on the topic along with Elmore's in this article from last month.

7 Crippling Parental Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders