When Do They Get to Live Their Own Life?

When I arrived at North Fayette I learned about a commitment the district had made to Love and Logic, sending all of the teaching staff through training and implementing the practices in the classroom and buildings.  I had heard about this program, and because of the commitment of the district, decided to attend training in Chicago to be better prepared to use the various strategies when working with students.  At that time I also signed up for their e-newsletter, which I receive every other week.  In a recent newsletter, the following letter from an employer and Love and Logic devotee was included:

Dear Mr. Fay,

I have been to many Love and Logic trainings and have been passing along the lessons for some time. I just wanted to share with you a personal story of something that happened today which just proves what you have been teaching all this time. I thought of you instantly. I will keep all details out to protect the business and the person involved.

 At a current place of business, which is a corporate/professional level, highly skilled type business, a young (meaning twenty-something) gentleman showed up for an interview today with his parents. Yes, they really did sit in on the interview. No, he did not really need them there.

 Apparently, they were to help with his nervousness and morale, and they wanted to help him with the discussion regarding salary.

 Now here is the very definition of helicopter parents that do not have a grasp of boundaries and have enabled their "baby."

 Needless to say, this particular candidate was not the one chosen.

 Hope this story may help you during some presentation to get the point across that we are crippling our youth.

 Sincerely,

Marlene, a loyal Love and Logic advocate

Those of you who read my blog and newsletter regularly will recognize the term “helicopter parent,” as I have written about this “phenomenon” a number of times over the past few years.  It seems like today we have one of two extremes.  Unfortunately we have too many parents that have basically tossed their children aside and have little or no interest in what they do.  They could care less about their performance at school and they never show up for conferences or events.  This is tough to deal with, but there is one positive in many of these situations: the child is resilient and learns to stand on their own feet.  At the other end are the parents that are described in the letter above.  Can you imagine accompanying your child to a job interview?  Who would ever think about doing this?  Well, obviously someone!  Don’t get me wrong, there are times when a parent needs to stand by their child and offer support.  I have been impressed recently with some parents that have stood by their child’s side as the young men came forward to confront a difficult situation.  They still put the burden on the child to “come clean” and take responsibility for their actions. 

There is a balance, and we need to get back to the balance.  What made the men and women who made up the “Greatest Generation” great was that even at a young age they stood up and answered the bell.  Think about it.  In the early 1940’s, 18-year old boys stepped up, volunteering in waves, to serve our country.  They found themselves in horrific circumstances and prevailed.  I do not see that in our young people today, and I am not saying that we have to send them off to war to prove it.  What I am saying is that we need to give them the chance to take responsibility for their decisions.  Steve Deace, a conservative talk show host, said the following on air one day when I caught part of his show driving down the interstate: “Students need to experience disappointment.  It is part of life.  They need to learn to overcome adversity.  It is part of life.”  Unfortunately, helicopter parents are not allowing them to experience these very important life lessons.

The End is Near

I can’t remember an end to a school year that has moved so fast.  At the end of every year, there is a lot to do as far as getting things finished up before that last day.  In my seat, there are a lot of reports that have to be completed and other deadlines that have to be met because various agencies and departments we work with “close shop” this time of the year.  We do not have much of a luxury to put some of these things off until the students are gone for the summer.  There are other things that need to be done because many employees finish up a day or two after the students and are not around until they need to report in August.  What is troublesome for me is that at a time of the year when I really want to be out and about among the students, it is quite difficult. 

Compounding things quite a bit this year was the Pertussis outbreak that we had.  Every day we faced decisions relative to what we were going to do to hopefully contain it.  The stress on some folks around here was immense as we were hosting some major events and our students were also involved in activities that were at a critical point in the season.  There were many frustrations, but in the end, we got through it.  However, because of some of the steps we did take, things piled up even more at the end of the year.  For example, we had activities in the PAC four out of the five nights this week.  It’s great that it is being used, but we had a number of folks that were there all four nights!  That plays a little number on your mind when you are looking forward to the school year ending, you are tired, and yet you know that you must keep moving ahead.  My hat is off to those folks that dealt with so much unpredictability and demonstrated tremendous flexibility and patience.  In particular, the entire music staff – Doug Poppen, Ted Schacherer, Linda Johansen, and Leslie Poppen – were incredible.  And, I would be remiss if I did not mention how vitally important our school nurse, Trudy Campbell was in all of this.  Last and by far not least, the high school teachers and coaches were amazing.  Coaches had to deal with last minute lineup changes because they may find out an hour before a meet that a student could not be there.  Every day, teachers saw new empty seats, yet continued to do their job and at the same time help those kids that missed catch up.

Good luck to the graduating seniors.  I am confident that this particular group will do great things.  This is a group of tremendous potential and I look forward to learning about what they accomplish in life.  Goodbye to Mary Straate, who has impacted the lives of hundreds of North Fayette students.  Also to Trudy Campbell who is retiring as well.  And to Tammi Aldrich, who is moving on to a new job in Dunkerton.  All of you will be missed.

My hope is that everyone has a fun and relaxing summer, and I look forward to seeing students in the halls come this August!

What is Good Enough?

A few years ago I ran across a document that I have used in a number of different situations when discussing expectations and quality work.  The data is a little old, but what I have read on web sites is that many of the numbers would actually be higher.  However, the point is made when one looks at accuracy and excellence.

Over the years there have been numerous arguments regarding grading.  Issues like grade inflation different types of scales have been debated at length.  Teachers have often struggled with defining grades and quality standards.  There is no question in my mind that significant changes need to be made in the way we grade, and in fact, that is happening in a number of places.  However, that is a discussion for another day.

One aspect of the conversation is the issue of quality.  I hear teachers, parents, students and others make the comment “he just wants to pass” or “she is satisfied with getting by.”  I have students tell me “it’s good enough.”  I don’t understand the philosophy, but I also don’t understand why anyone would shoot any lower than the absolute best they can do.  This takes me to the data.  To introduce it, I will suggest that on a 100-point scale, a grade of A should be given for 99% and above.  Hey!  That’s too high, isn’t it?  Well, that actually may be a little low.  Why?  Let’s take a look.

If society, bosses, institutions, or whoever is in power is satisfied with 99% accuracy, then:

·      12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

·      114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped each year

·      18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled each hour of each day

·      2.5 million books will be shipped with the wrong covers

·      103,260 income tax returns will be processed incorrectly this year.

·      Two plane landings daily at O'Hare International Airport will be unsafe.

·      291 pacemaker operations will be performed incorrectly this year.

·      880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect cardholder information on their magnetic strips.

·      55 malfunctioning automatic teller machines will be installed in the next 12 months.

·      20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be written in the next 12 months.

·      114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped this year.

·      107 incorrect medical procedures will be performed each day.

·      315 entries in Webster's Third New International Dictionary of English Language will be misspelled.

·      Every minute 1,314 telephone calls would be misdirected by telecommunication services.

·      22,000 checks would be deducted from the wrong bank account in the next 60 minutes.

·      12 newborn babies would be dropped on delivery each day.

·      Southwest Airlines would have 702 planes crash annually.

·      32,000 missed heartbeats per person per year.

·      268,500 defective tires would be shipped this year.

·      2,000,000 documents would be lost this year by the IRS.

So, when we look at expectations and set standards, where should the bar be set?  If we settle for anything less than the best, is that acceptable?  Certainly the words “I can’t” need to be removed from our language, but what can we expect from students who are stretched by taking eight classes and involved in a multitude of different activities?  By the same token, is that a good thing?  In education circles, the focus is on depth not breadth, with an emphasis on quality of learning over quantity.  At one time, Made in America was the best one could get.  If we are going to sustain our place in the world economy, that bar needs to be raised.

Taking Away The Fat

In some people’s eyes, the title of this entry may not be politically correct. The truth is that I really couldn’t figure out what to call it, and this is what kept coming back. So, if my lack of sensitivity offends, I do apologize. Though understand, in some respects I am pointing my finger at myself! Not long ago in the Journal of the American Medical Association, an argument was made to place extremely obese children in foster care, taking them away from their parents and the environment that some believe contributed to their obesity.

There is a quiet, but increasing number of people from the medical profession and other individuals who are stating that in extreme cases the government should act in the child’s best interest and remove them, and that the idea is to not only support the child, but the whole family. The goal would be to reunite once the child was healthy and the parents took part in a parenting program so that they could provide for a healthier lifestyle for their child. To some, this puts the blame on parents, and maybe it should be, though genetic factors play a role in obesity as well. However, when one looks at the statistics, about two million children in this country are extremely obese. While most are not yet in imminent danger, some already have serious conditions, such as Type-2 diabetes, breathing difficulties and liver problems that could kill them by the time they are 30.

Doctors and researchers cite numerous examples of children that are extremely obese and the complications that have entered their lives. A 90-pound three-year old that by the time she was 12 weighed 400 pounds, had diabetes, cholesterol problems, high blood pressure, and sleep apnea. Many parents, like the ones of the previously mentioned girl, are not equipped to care for a child, especially one with the problem of obesity. Some legal professionals point to neglect and state that there is already legal authority to take these children from an environment of abuse. A 14-year old in South Carolina that weighed 555 pounds was taken from his mother and placed in the custody of an adult sister. Others say that the government has no right to tear apart families. One thing that I have not mentioned is the out of control medical costs in our nation due to issues related to obesity.

So why do I include an article on this topic here? There are a number of reasons. First of all, while we are fortunate that there are very, very few young people in our area that fall into this category, there are some. And, there are others that are overweight and like a lot of us (me included) need to live a healthier lifestyle. They are our children and we have to be concerned about their welfare, just as we are about all of our kids. We have a group of people that have taken a lead in our school in efforts associated with the Healthy Kids Act. One teacher has initiated a walking club in the mornings, and more time in PE is being dedicated to physical exercise. Our coaches run a morning strength and conditioning program three days a week that is open to anyone, and we have another coach working with young people after school that have a desire to workout. The Food and Fitness group has been doing a number of different things to promote healthier eating, with school gardens being planted, promotional activities around the school, and new food choices being served at lunch. As educators, we can provide opportunities within our programs to help with this problem. What about others?

In our health curriculum, we are making changes to include content that addresses personal health, including diet and exercise. As mentioned previously, we have before and after school programs available for our students, but not nearly enough students take advantage of them. We have tossed around the idea of putting a much heavier focus on fitness in our PE program. We have done some of that this year but could do more. But then, will students take that serious and put forth the kind of effort necessary to improve their fitness? What about teaching “life-long recreational activities” that are currently in the curriculum, like badminton? All of these are questions that we face. There will be some interesting decisions in the future. I just know that it is sad that we are at a point where we are taking kids out of the home because they are so obese.