Last night I received a phone call from Larry Otten, good friend and middle school principal at Creston. Larry and I worked together for nine years and worked with a lot of the same kids. The phone call last night was not one with good news. Larry told me that they found Travis Henry dead. He had killed himself. Travis was a freshman this year, and while he was not one of “my kids” since I moved to North Fayette this year, I knew him because he attended the same church as we did when we lived in Creston. And, his mother was a teacher for me at the high school. The irony is that earlier in the day, the family of James Kosman held his funeral in Creston.
James graduated last year, but apparently was hanging out with a bunch of high school students when he made a real bad choice and was electrocuted before he dropped 35 feet to the ground. I got to know James pretty well almost exactly a year ago when I went on a trip with him and 41 other students to Washington, D.C. and New York. One of my jobs on that trip was to keep and eye on James and a few other young men because they were a bit ornery. We didn’t have any problems, and I got to know James a lot better than I had in the nearly four previous years of high school. In particular, we had a real good talk on the bus between Washington, D.C. and New York.
It may sound a bit callous, but I am to the point in my life and career that I can say that nothing surprises me any more. But death at such an early age under the circumstances that they two boys died does cause me to pause and wonder “why?” I am not going to provide commentary on the conditions under which each of the deaths occurred, nor ponder as to why they happened. I am going to state how I feel and why.
Before I do that, I also have to add that back in October, David Reeves, took his own life. Compounding the sadness was that only months prior, David’s mother Lynn lost a valiant battle with cancer. Of the three young men, I knew David the best, as did my daughter, who used to play in the saxophone section with him. Like the others, David was a young man with a world of potential and unlimited opportunities in front of him.
The staff and students at Creston are hurting. I don’t think anyone can truly understand the challenges of conducting school each day under such a cloud of grief and sadness. But I know the teachers there work very hard every day to keep school in front of the kids. The problem is that a lot of the emotion is gone because in so many respects, it has literally been sucked out of them.
Now I am four hours away. I have a whole new group of young people that I have responsibility for here at North Fayette. But as I said earlier, nothing really surprises me anymore, thus in a strange sort of way, my worries seem to only have increased. When I heard about David, that painful lump immediately found its way into my throat and I fought back tears. However, they streamed down my face when I shared what I knew with my daughter. Actually, my wife Tammy had to speak the words because I could not. I knew that the pain that had to be felt by his dad, brother, and grandparents, as well as close family friends had to be unbearable. Just a week before they buried David, he had been playing the drum with the Panther Marching Band in a snowstorm in Des Moines. And now he was gone. I still find myself thinking about David and pondering how a young man with so many gifts got to the point where death was a better option than life.
When the emails and texts started coming in about James, my initial response was “Dammit! He pushed it too far!” In recent years James had tested the limits in many respects and I know that his parents and others had concerns about risky behaviors that he was experimenting with. When I heard that there were about a dozen high school students out and about at 2:00 in the morning with James, I thought what the heck is going on! And then, just today, I was told that only three of the group stayed with James after the fall waiting for an emergency vehicle and the rest of the kids ran. Now I asked “why?” What was going on that kids would scatter when their friend was lying on the concrete either dead or dying? Why?
And then it was Travis. Many people in Creston attended the funeral for James only to receive text messages a few hours later that another young man was dead. What worries me, it that that lump in my throat is not quite as painful, nor the pain in my stomach quite as bad. I am afraid because I hope that I am not getting used to this! But, that lump and sick feeling in my stomach does grow when I think of the folks on the front line at Creston High School. The principals and counselors, teachers, secretaries, custodians, cooks, and aides. Those folks are carrying a heavy burden on their shoulders. More than anything else, I really feel for Tammy Riley and Angie Bolinger, the guidance counselors. Those two wonderful counselors are hurting. They are the ones that have to be strong and have to be there for the kids, families, and everyone who comes to them. Their jobs are so complex in this day and age that they are stretched when things are normal. And now, everything else gets put on the back burner because so many people need them. And I am also angry because some people have the audacity to throw criticism their way. The critics don’t have a clue. I’ll leave it at that.
Life is precious. Like is tough. Life is worth living. David, James, and Travis, I wish you were still here to give it another shot.
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